Drawbacks of a Night on the Town

So, all I'm looking for is a nice night out with a few girl friends. Just the opportunity to get dressed up-- feel pretty. Dancing is a must. Fruity drinks, optional. Of course we're going to go to the hippest spot in town.. or the only place that has a dance floor in our area. It's time to step into heels, crank up the music and get ready for a good time. Or so I thought..

Now I'm not sure who it was who told men that it's okay to hit on women in any of the following ways, but somewhere along the line, they received some pretty ridiculous advice. A brief description of some of my most recent favorite creepers:
[1] The beer-sloshing, ash-flicking inebriate: This is the man who is overly enthusiastic to meet new people. So ecstatic that he is unconsciously spilling beer all over your jeans and dropping cigarette ashes on your $90 boots while he attempts to hit on you. I stress attempts.
[2] The OMG, ME TOO!!!! guy: It doesn't matter what you say in your attempts to scare him off, it's bound to fail. Why? Because he loves it too!! Tell him you murder people in your downtime and you've got someone to drag the bodies for you because it's his favorite pastime. Partners in crime. Score.
[3] The pedophile: Begins a conversation with "Are you girls even old enough to be in here?! You look like you're thirteen!" He then proceeds to chat you up and may even suggest you exchange numbers and get together sometime. How much more disgusting can you get? Who would want to be with a guy who is turned on by the fact that you "look like a preteen"?
[4] The old high school pal: He isn't just any old guy who went to your high school. "Remember me? I remember you from ________ high school! I [a] was your substitute teacher once [b] took your senior pictures [c] watched you in all of your softball games." Enough said.

Now, the way you respond in any one of these situations is key. Refrain from encouraging conversation. Your best bet, get far, far away. There's plenty of bar to go around. I, however, have a problem with being unfriendly. My attempts to discourage these encounters somehow backfire and I end up stuck in a never-ending conversation with one of the above offenders. I guess everything has both positive and negative aspects. What matters is that we didn't let these sleazy, unclassy predators ruin our fantastic night out! <3